The 5 Most Damaging Mistakes Singles Make With Their Online Dating Profiles

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Olderwomendating.com – the best cougar dating site!

Mature Singles Only

If You Make Just ONE of These Mistakes, You Could Be
Killing Your Chances of Attracting Quality Singles, Leaving
You Lonely and Dateless for Weekends to Come

Dear Reader,

You can tell a lot about a person just by reading their online dating profile.
(We can, at least.)
And we can assure you, quality singles can too. They have to be able to!
After all, the best quality singles get TONS of attention and interest from
members of the opposite sex, all wanting a chance to meet them in person.
But people are busy!
There’s just not enough time to go out with everyone, so they need a way to
separate the potential winners from the immediate losers.
And often, that ‘decision’ takes place in a few seconds or less, depending on
which online dating site or app they are using.
Newsflash: Dating Is Extremely Competitive
That’s why you MUST take advantage of every opportunity to put your best
foot forward and create the best ‘love bait’ possible.
So your profile stands out in a good way, resulting in more likes, winks,
favorites swipes right, and flirtatious first emails — giving you a head start
on creating a magnetic mutual attraction BEFORE you even meet each
other.
So when you DO meet each other, you already know you’re both really into
each other and you can hit the ground running, which is one of the biggest
keys to going from the first date … to the first kiss … to wherever you two decide to
take your relationship from there.
Or you can do what most people do and NOT put much thought or strategic
effort into your online dating profiles.
Then wonder why you’re not getting the attention and interest from the
opposite sex that you think you deserve. And maybe turn into one of those
people who honestly believes, “Online dating doesn’t work.”
When, in fact, online dating CAN work pretty well.
But you DO have to know HOW to make it work for you.
Let’s get started so you can avoid …
The 5 Most Dangerous Mistakes Most Singles Make
With Their Online Dating Profiles
Mistake #1: Bad Profile Pictures
Your profile picture is the first thing people see, so it MUST make a great
first impression.
And it must do so immediately!
Anything that could confuse people, like making your main profile picture a
group photo (females are particularly guilty of this), is a huge mistake.
“Oh, you want me to guess which one you are?”
That’s not very considerate. Next!
(Most guys never get to, “I’m the one of the left.” They have moved on.)
TIP: If you DO decide to include a group photo (just not your first photo),
make sure YOU are the most attractive person in the group because people
WILL compare you to your friends. The last thing you want is for people
you’re trying to impress to think, “Wow, I’d love to meet their friend!”
Your main profile picture should be one of your best photos. Not just the
photo YOU like best of yourself, but a photo that other people (particularly
the opposite sex) have told you that you look great in. (Not your mom or
dad either.)

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Olderwomendating.com – the best cougar dating site!

It’s crucial that all of your photos look pretty consistent.
It’s also good to have another great photo waiting for them after your first
the photo sparked their interest.
One possibility is to have your first photo be a great, professional-looking
photo — a photo you wouldn’t mind the world seeing, like maybe a formal
party photo or something like that. You’re smiling, you’re wearing an
attractive outfit, and you look confident and happy.
Then maybe your second or third photo is a little more risqué. (Yes, men,
we’re talking to you too.) Depending on your values and goals — but even
for really “conservative” people — everyone likes to see a little “athleticism”
or “curves” that leave a little less to the imagination.
After all, online dating is about love, chemistry, and attraction. And
regardless of whether you’re looking for a fling, casual dating, a serious
relationship or marriage, everyone wants to “get physical” eventually.
If you don’t press “those buttons” in a person, you’re not likely to even get
the opportunity to have a conversation with someone that could lead to a
phone number or a first date.
But don’t go overboard here. The idea is to look tempting, not flashy. You
want to tease the imagination, not give away the farm.
Remember to make sure all of your photos are pretty consistent.
For example, if you look 150 lbs. and athletic in FOUR of your photos, and
225 lbs. and borderline obese in ONE of your photos, most people will
assume that the one bad picture is what you REALLY look like today,
otherwise you would have deleted that photo.
TIP: Do your best to put your best foot forward, but don’t lie. If you’re a
guy and you’re not as tall as you’d like to be, don’t lie and say you’re 6’2”
just to get the first date. She’s going to find out and she’s not going to be
happy. (Bridge the gap with wit and charm, for example.)
TIP: Likewise, if you’re a woman and you’re not as fit as you’d like to be,
don’t hide your real self. Own it! Confidence is the sexiest thing in the world
to everyone. Trust me, a man or woman that owns their insecurities and
focuses instead on making others FEEL an emotional connection (laughter,
flirtatious, witty, sexual innuendo, excitement, curiosity) will get far better
results than lying or misleading someone and hoping they don’t find out.
If all your photos put your best foot forward, and someone doesn’t like your
look, no worries! You don’t want to go out with someone that doesn’t like
you for you anyway.
• Some men prefer women with big curves
• Some men prefer petite women with no curves
• Some men prefer blondes, others brunettes or redheads
• Some women only date muscular men
• Some women are turned off by men with too many muscles
• Some women only date bald men, others prefer a full head of hair
Truth: Different people want different things at different times for
different reasons. Focus on what YOU can control, and then leave the rest
up to others to decide if they like you and want to get to know you or not.
Mistake #2: Making Your Profile Description All About You
Most people think their online dating profile should be all about them. But
an effective advertisement MUST accomplish two things.
1) It must tell the reader about the product or service (in this case, you).
2) Do so in a way that speaks to the benefits the reader will receive.
“What’s in it for me?”
“How will I benefit from going out with you?”
These are the thoughts running through everyone’s mind, all the time.
Most people simply write things like:
“What makes me happy is playing with my dog, doing yoga, going to
concerts, and sipping drinks on a patio. I’m a computer nerd and I also like
to fix things. You have to make me laugh.”
If I were reading that profile, I would think to myself, “Okay, I know what
makes her happy, and I know that she wants a man who can make her
laugh. But what is she offering me in return? Is she selfish? Does she not
realize that I’m a person with needs, wants and desires too?”
TIP: You have to figure out what you bring to the table and what you
think your target audience would find appealing, and then combine the two.
Here’s a quick example:
MAN: I’m a gentleman and a little bit of a romantic, but I can be a “bad
boy” too. If you want a man that’s always asking for your permission to do
Manley things, then I’m probably not the right guy for you. Because I just
take action! If a woman treats me right, I will please her in ways she can’t …
even … imagine.
WHY THIS MIGHT WORK:
• He says he’s a gentleman, and most women love gentlemen
• He says he can be romantic, but also a bad boy (best of both worlds)
• He uses reverse psychology to say “If you want a man like this”
(knowing most women don’t want that) then I’m not the right guy for
you.
• Then he ends with, “If you treat me right, I will make your dreams
come true” (In a way that stirs the imagination) (Note the use of
ellipses … for … dramatic … effect).
Do you see how that profile demonstrates what the man is all about in
a way that focuses on the benefits to the women reading his profile?
It also says, “If you do this, I will do this” which is a LOT more appealing
then saying “this is what makes me happy and what I’m looking for.”
Focus on what YOU offer your target audience while simultaneously
communicating your goals, and the right people will find your profile a LOT
more attractive.
Here’s a quick example from a woman’s perspective:
WOMAN: Hi! I’m a Midwestern girl with an adventurous spirit, a love for
my family and friends, and a man who can make me laugh. I’m a sucker for
a man in jeans and cowboy boots who will take me dancing. You don’t have
to be any good, but you do have to hold my hand and twirl me around. I’m
not into hookups, so if that’s you then don’t waste your time. But if you’re a
gentleman and you play your cards right, I definitely have a wild side and
I’m not afraid to show it … when appropriate.
WHY THIS MIGHT WORK:
• She states who she is (all things most men would probably like).
• She states what kind of man she prefers (giving men a clue into what
she’s looking for and how to make her happy).
• She states what she’s NOT about (hopefully sending “those types”
running for the hills).
• She issues a challenge to men (and most men like a challenge).
• She admits that she knows “what most men really want” (she’s no
dummy) and she promises there will be “special rewards” for the man
who earns the right to call her his.
TIP: Not writing anything about yourself on dating apps like Tinder or
Bumble is also a mistake because it doesn’t give your target audience any
clues about who you are and what you offer them. If all they have to go on is
your looks, that doesn’t give them much to start a conversation about
either. The goal is to make yourself as attractive as possible, and that
includes making it easier (not harder) for others to message you.
Okay, let’s keep going.
Mistake #3: Being Timid and Playing Things Too Safe
Whether applying this to the creation of your profile or your search for the
right person for you, it’s important to be authentic and uniquely you.
The REAL you, not the timid version you turn into when you start worrying
about what other people might think.
Most singles get nervous about what they should or shouldn’t admit in their
profiles, or when first messaging someone. So they come up with boring
first messages like, “How’s your week going?”
Or as many people can attest to, the well thought out, “Hi.” And that’s it.
These are both EXPECTED, BORING and LAZY.
If you knew the person already and you ran into them, or you texted or
called them, it would be perfectly fine to start the conversation with one of
these pleasantries.
But you don’t know the person yet.
Imagine if a guy or girl walked up to you and said, “Hi, how’s your week
going?”

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Olderwomendating.com – the best cougar dating site!

Would that be impressive to you?
(Unless they’re Daniel Craig or Jennifer Anniston, I’m guessing not.)
TIP: Everyone loves compliments. If you see a profile that you like, then
there are at least a few reasons you like the person’s profile. Start there and
tell the person what interests you about them. But do it in a way that’s
genuine, authentic, and comes across as enthusiastic!
Example: (She’s wearing a sexy red dress in one of her profile pictures)
• “Hi Jennifer, there’s nothing sexier to me than a beautiful woman in a
sexy red dress. I see you like to work out too. Do you ever go running
at White Rock Lake? (A local place he likes to walk his dog.)
(Indirect compliment + common interest + potential first date idea)
Example: (Christmas is just a few days away)
• “Hi Josh, I can’t wait for Christmas! Have you been a good little boy
this year?” (Flirtatious in a topical way, like Santa, would say.)
Example: You see a picture of her in Paris, France:
• Hi Mary, I see you’ve been to the City of Light. Paris is SO romantic!
What was your favorite site?
Bottom Line: Most people respond according to the Law of Reciprocity,
which simply means you give similar to what you get. If you say, “Hi, how
are you?” They will probably say, “I’m good, thanks for asking. How are
you?”
(BORING)
But if you start out with a sincere (or bold) compliment, there’s a good
chance that person will FEEL flattered, think more highly of you, maybe get
goose bumps, and then reply with a compliment about you.
Now YOU feel special, and you can take it from there and slowly escalate
from getting to know each other (in an exciting, but not too exciting way) to
planning to meet for the first time, and then keep the momentum going!
Next thing you know, you’re sharing drinks, smiling and being flirtatious
with one another. You’re both feeling “the butterflies.” You’ve both
forgotten all about your fears and insecurities, and you’re beginning to
think about your first kiss, among other things.
If you want big rewards, you’ve got to be willing to take a few risks.
Okay, moving on to …
Mistake #4: Holding Too Tightly to Traditional “Gender Roles”
Man or woman, whoever messages first MUST set the stage for an
exciting and engaging conversation, or it’s likely to fizzle out fast.
Ladies: This applies to you, too. If you’re on a site like Bumble, where the
ladies MUST contact the man first, don’t drop the ball and justify your lame
introductory message, “Hi, how are you?” with the fact that you’re the
a woman and “it’s the man’s job to take the lead and impress me.”
Relationships are a two-way street, period.
If your focus is on what you think the other person should do to make you
happy, then you’re starting things off on the wrong foot.
Unmet expectations are the #1 cause of pain and disappointment in life, so
lower your expectations of others and RAISE the bar for yourself regarding
the value you offer other people.
If you’re a man and you’ve been messaging with a woman for a few days,
she’s probably waiting for you to form a game plan and ask her out for
coffee, drinks, dinner or a sporting event.
Even if you’re shy and fear rejection, you have nothing to lose at this point.
Just ask her out and she’ll probably say yes. Nothing is more frustrating to
a woman than a man who’s indecisive and doesn’t take action.
However, the same can be said for many women. If you’re a strong woman
who’s successful in her career, I guarantee you that you will tend to attract
men that are a little more reserved.
I don’t have time to get into the psychology of this “situation,” but you need
to learn to step up and lead the man to do what you want him to do.
For example, if you like him and you want him to ask you out, but he seems
shy or reserved, throw him a bone and say, “Hey, would you like to take me
out this Wednesday night after work? I know a great little martini bar
downtown.”
Trust me, if you’ve been messaging with a guy but he seems hesitant to ask
you out, he might just be sacred of you rejecting him. In that case, he will
NOT be put off by you taking a little initiative and going after what you
want. He will probably be relieved or turned on!
Break “the rules” and have fun!!
TIP: All people make decisions based on emotion first, then rationale. Seek
to make an emotional connection first, as opposed to leading with your job,
church or how much money you make. But DO be prepared to help them
back up their emotional attraction to you with things like, “Yes, I go to
church” or “Yes, I’m a nice person who’s looking for the same things as
you.”
Okay, moving on to …
Mistake #5: Only Having One Online Dating Profile
These days, most people have a few online dating profiles.
Obviously, the sites you pick will depend on what your goals are, as well as
your age and demographics. But no matter which sites you prefer, don’t put
all of your eggs in one basket.
For example, you could sign up for Christian Mingle, E-Harmony and
OurTime.com. Or you could sign up for Bumble, Tinder
, and Match.
Here’s why.
Suppose the perfect guy or gal for you isn’t using the same site. The chance
of you two meeting is now close to 0%, unless you randomly run into each
other at a local bar or coffee shop.
It’s also 2017, and online dating is now mainstream. As a result, there are
hundreds of dating sites and apps to choose from. That means the odds of
everyone being on the exact same site or app have gone WAY down.
More sites = better odds. It really is that simple.
Just make sure that you apply all of the other tips in this short e-book to the
various online dating platforms that you sign up for.
Note: Different sites and apps have different character limits to write a
description, or a more limited number of pictures you can upload. Don’t be
one of those people that always does the bare minimum. Use a little flair for
crying out loud. (For you movie buffs, yes, that last sentence is an “Office
Space” reference.)
TIP: Throw a popular movie reference into your profile if you want to, but
only if you think your target audience might “get” it. Otherwise you’re only
adding potential confusion.
Be clear, consistent, memorable and stand out!
That’s the goal of every online dating profile — to differentiate yourself in a
GOOD way, thus attracting the right kind of person for you.
Lastly, remember that you’re NOT trying to impress everyone. You only
need to impress the kind of man or woman that YOU want to meet. Write to
them and them alone, as opposed to trying to be all things to all people.
Set up your profile “the right way” and go after what you want while
focusing on the value you bring to others — making them laugh, smile,
blush — and your chances of success with the opposite sex will go way up!
Best Wishes,
Mature Singles Only

Olderwomendating.com - the best cougar dating site!
Olderwomendating.com – the best cougar dating site!

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