50 million women in the U.S. are married. The average weight of an American woman is over 160 lbs. (Seriously!)

LargeFriends.com - the best dating site for plus-sized singles!
LargeFriends.com – the best dating site for plus-sized singles!

50 million women in the U.S. are married.
The average weight of an American woman is over 160 lbs. (Seriously!)
Women in marriages weigh 15-20 lbs more than single women.

Does this seem like an atmosphere where it’s impossible for a smart, funny, pretty woman to find a man who appreciates her? No, it does not.

So let me reassure you that, even if you haven’t found him yet, there is a man who will be thrilled with you – the extra 15 lbs and all.

However, I think it’s really important to be able to view issues from all sides. My loyalty as a dating coach is to truth and reality – not to what’s fair or what’s right.

I’d like to take a second for you to consider the plight of James. James is 39, never married, but he’s good marriage material. For years, James was a mortgage broker outside Miami, until the real estate market collapsed. At the height of his career, he was pulling in $175,000 a year. Four years later, he can’t even find work in his chosen field ​and is being forced to reinvent himself – at the bottom rung of another career path. He’s now making $65,000 a year without benefits.

LargeFriends.com - the best dating site for plus-sized singles!
LargeFriends.com – the best dating site for plus-sized singles!

Do you think that James’ new financial situation will impact his love life?

Do you think that women should see him as an equally viable option on his middle-class salary as they did on his upper middle-class salary?

Do you think that James has to resign himself to accept that perhaps he can’t get the cream of the crop woman – thin, curvy, educated, cultured – on $65,000/year?

It’s lazy dating advice telling you to lose weight to attract more men.
I’m not passing judgment either way, but I will point out that it’s a pretty similar comparison – one which illustrates, in stark terms, that life simply isn’t fair.

Do lots of women judge men on their financial status? Absolutely.

Do lots of men judge women on youth and beauty? Yessir.

Therefore, all you can do, Liz, is to be conscious of this ​and make the best of your circumstances. It’s lazy dating advice telling you to lose weight to attract more men. Would it give you more options? Sure. More confidence? Absolutely? More hope? No doubt about it. But you’re already doing the best you can.

And if you’re already doing the best you can, there’s nothing to learn, nothing to lament, nothing to complain about.

The man you’ll marry is ultimately the one who will love you and accept you at your current weight. The man who doesn’t love and accept you…is clearly not your husband.

And that is the exact same thing I’d tell any man who complains that women only want rich men. Either make more money – or find the woman who doesn’t find money to be as important.

LargeFriends.com - the best dating site for plus-sized singles!
LargeFriends.com – the best dating site for plus-sized singles!

I’m quite confident that things will turn around for you – the second you stop looking down on the men who do like you for you.

LargeFriends.com - the best dating site for plus-sized singles!
LargeFriends.com – the best dating site for plus-sized singles!

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